The Theme for Black history Month 2023 in the UK is to our sisters
To Our Mothers
Reflecting on Motherhood for Black History Month 2024
Paying homage to the amazing work of the legendary women in our society
Whilst there are some amazing stories of incredible women, I wanted to pay homage to some everyday Heroes Sheroes in Mothers
The State of families in the UK
As of 2022 there are 19.4 Million families in the UK
Out of that 19.4 million 15% of them are single-parent house holds
That means we have around 2.9 Million single parent families in the UK
Let's dig into this a bit more:
Less than 1% of single parents are teenagers, with majority of single parents tending to be in their mid forties
Looking at the chart here, the orange represents proportion of co-parent households, where as the yellow are the % of single parent households in that demographic. A smaller proportion of single parents tend to be from an Asian/Asian British background compared to couple parents (5% vs. 12%).
However, a higher proportion of single parents tend to be from a Black/Black British (9%) or Mixed/Multiple (3%) ethnic backgrounds compared to couple parents (4% and 1% respectively).
But regarless of race or creed, one overaching truth remains
9 out of 10 singe parents are mothers
Whether in a single family or multiparent household mothers play a vital role in the family unit from carrying and giving birth, to raising and providing a safe environment to discipling and giving them access to education, fathers play a role too but remember the theme of the month...
Mother, a cradle to hold
A Poem by Maya Angelou
It is true
I was created in you.
It is also true
That you were created for me.
I owned your voice.
It was shaped and tuned to soothe me.
Your arms were molded
Into a cradle to hold me, to rock me.
The scent of your body was the air
Perfumed for me to breathe.
Mother,
During those early, dearest days
I did not dream that you had
A large life which included me,
For I had a life
Which was only you.
Time passed steadily and drew us apart.
I was unwilling.
I feared if I let you go
You would leave me eternally.
You smiled at my fears, saying
I could not stay in your lap forever.
That one day you would have to stand
And where would I be?
You smiled again.
I did not.
Without warning you left me,
But you returned immediately.
You left again and returned,
I admit, quickly,
But relief did not rest with me easily.
You left again, but again returned.
You left again, but again returned.
Each time you reentered my world
You brought assurance.
Slowly I gained confidence.
You thought you know me,
But I did know you,
You thought you were watching me,
But I did hold you securely in my sight,
Recording every moment,
Memorizing your smiles, tracing your frowns.
In your absence
I rehearsed you,
The way you had of singing
On a breeze,
While a sob lay
At the root of your song.
The way you posed your head
So that the light could caress your face
When you put your fingers on my hand
And your hand on my arm,
I was blessed with a sense of health,
Of strength and very good fortune.
You were always
the heart of happiness to me,
Bringing nougats of glee,
Sweets of open laughter.
I loved you even during the years
When you knew nothing
And I knew everything, I loved you still.
Condescendingly of course,
From my high perch
Of teenage wisdom.
I spoke sharply of you, often
Because you were slow to understand.
I grew older and
Was stunned to find
How much knowledge you had gleaned.
And so quickly.
To know I have learned nearly nothing.
On this day
When mothers are being honored,
Let me thank you
That my selfishness, ignorance, and mockery
Did not bring you to
Discard me like a broken doll
Which had lost its favor.
I thank you that
You still find something in me
To cherish, to admire and to love.
I thank you, Mother.
I love you.”
Poem by Maya Angelou
The internet is an amazing space to learn about details and ideas that you may not come across in your day to day activities, that makes it both a blessing and a curses
The rise of rather negative conversations on the internet about mothers means that people out there in their various situations are being exposed to a conversation that is important but it no ways universal
hopefully reading this story opened up the conversation to see a more nuanced illustration of the role of mothers in society and what they are actually doing. No one is perfect, but there is a lot to learn from those who went before us
on our Desktop version hover over the circles to the left, you'll see someone of the many lessons from those who were survey for the story, see if any of the lessons remind you of your mum, because many certainly reminded me of mine